I can't stand it...

Firstly, I'm sorry if this is going to upset a few of you, I don't mean to hurt anyone, but I can't take this anymore, I need to let this out, and I'm not criticising anyone in particular, but this in general...

I feel so lonely, I am lonely, yes I have many friends, but when the chips are down, when I need somebody to come and comfort me, it doesn't happen... All my life, I have been caring for friends, letting them know I'm there for them, being there, comforting them, and being a good friend, but when I'm the one who's down, no one comes to me... How cruel... The moments tonight seem to sum up everything, and where it's all gone wrong... It's like I'm wasting my time here... It's good enough I come every week just to meet up with friends, even if it's for a while, but then, what's the use if it's not appreciated? It's like a waste...

A year ago, I made my mind up to continue my studies here, due to a variety of reasons, family, environment, unfinished business... Now, looking back, there might be some mistakes in the decisions that I made... Or simply, I'm starting to regret staying here...

Now looking back, I had the best time during the Christmas period, where everything just seem to come off, every plan paid off, and I had a wonderful time... That was also in part due to my decision... I had the best times with friends and cousins, and I will always remember those moments... I wish I can relive them again...

People say I have alot of friends, yes, but most of them are just accquaintances, friends whom you've got to know and occasionally have the odd banter or two... Sometimes I feel like a loner, a lonely boy in a populous town, with the surroundings breezing past me... I feel like I'm alone, with no friends, no one contacts me, or says Hi... I hate this feeling... And I hate being alone... I've been alone for far too long in my life...

Sometimes we make decisions in life that we may cherish or regret for life... Time will tell if those that I made will be either... In other words, hope that I can get the respect and friendship that I give out to others...

It's back to Ground Zero...