Lost in the moment...

From the moment the year started, I didn't know quite what to expect; well, actually I did, but not to this scale... Forget everything that's happened in the past, this will be a whole new challenge, and many changes along with it... The only question is, will I be broken or emerge stronger than ever from this?

Where do I start? My best friends, my mates, many of them are moving on in their studies away from KK, and I'm gonna miss them alot, and It's gonna be weird not having them around anymore after spending so much time together these past few years, we've become almost like family... So many happy memories, and I really treasure them... But that's in the past, time for the future...

Lately I've been going through a rough time, and thinking alot before I sleep every night isn't going to help my cause... It's been a mixed bag; on one hand I'm actually happy in college now, having fit right in and new friends, and it's alright, now it's the problems outside that are really affecting me, until now I don't really want to do anything but talk here...

To be honest I still miss 2010, everything about it, it was such a momentus year, moving on from it is really hard... sigh... It seems like just yesterday that I ushered in the new year, and now February is almost over... Time passes so fast, time waits for no man... Soon everyone will be moving on... =(

Having a crush, and not being able to be with her, or progress beyond friends is very heart aching, and right now I'm having pain in dealing with that... Of course I put in effort and my heart into trying to be with her, but what's the use if I'm not even considered as someone more than a friend by her, and she even treats other people more than me, so I feel stupid that I liked you in the first place, you know how much that hurts me? It's eating me up inside...

I've been having many dreams lately, some good, some bad, and a few weird ones... It's been a mixed bag of all.. One dream that I had I can't forget, is my mum meeting my crush, and it's funny and sad at the same time, because in that dream I said goodbye, and the irony is there... I won't say much for it'll be obvious...

At this point in time, all I want is for my besties to be around me, to spend time with them, and have a clearer picture of what's going on... I wish I can have that... Amidst all the chaos and movement, I need some stability... and stability and certainty in life is anything but...