Breathe...

Breathe in the air, don't be afraid to care... XD!

"Ticking away, the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an off-fad way
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way..."

Yup, that sums up my holiday, and I enjoy every moment of it, the freedom, chance to go out with friends, and look back and reflect on my life... Look at some old pics, clean up my house, arrange stuff and so on... Yeah, next week it's back to classes... It's ok, I stil have the weekends... And I shuld be lucky, my classes only 8-5 at the most, no nite classes, no weekend classes, so yeah, its pretty good... But when I move up to degree level, its a different story...

"The time is gone, the song is over, thought I've something more to say..."

Friday is the Confirmation Seminar, am I right, for all you guys n gals going for Confirmation, congratulations, and I have a surprise for you all... XD! And bazaar is this Saturday! hehe... Yeah, another shoutout, there's a mini bazaar held by LifeTeen on Saturday evening, 7.30 pm, at Sacred Heart... It's a fundraiser for their camp and activitiies, so do support! XD!

"Home again, I like to be here when I can
When I come home, cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones in my room...
Far away across the fields
The toiling of the iron bell..."

Trail Of Tears

Firstly, I can't wait for this Saturday, LifeTeen's holding a mini bazaar at SHC, so a chance for me to catch up with some old mates, and help support this year's LT camp, which I'm sure they will enjoy it... hehe... I'm sure I will enjoy the night, for a good cause... 7 pm, Sacred heart parish centre... be there! hehe... Its to raise funds for Lifeteen Youth Camp and their activities, so I do hope you all dears can make it... n_n!

Sceondly, thanks pals for a nice day out last Sunday, wish more could have come, but there's always next time, so plan ahead! hehe... Thanks again!

Lastly, classes are starting next week for me and my classmates and collegemates... 2 weeks holiday is almost up... So back to jackass I mean work... XD! hehe....


Well, holidays are about to end, results of 3rd sem coming, hope i don't fail, or else im in big trouble... all the best... If i somehow screw up, maybe I'll take a break... stop and think about my next option... Wish i had longer holidays, but maybe its better if I get holidays in November and December, so that I can concentrate on finishing my end year personally and get ready for Xmas season!

Last Sunday, i had a good day out, really enjoyed it, been a while since I went out, and I can't get to go out often, so every opportunity I get to do so, I really am thankful for it... Wish I can bring more people out, but sometimes circumstances doesn't permit... Thanks to Trish's cam (lol!), i'm gonna upload d pics soon (or Trish, u upload? hehe...)...

Looking forward to this Saturday, it's been a while since I retired from LT, so I miss them alot, and this is a good chance to catch up with old times.. hehe... and take more pics! XD!

Why i chose the title, Trail of Tears, its a song by Eric Johnson, very nice... the chords are also nice... bikin pening... hahaha...

Well, I guess that's it for now...

Musings, well, happy sad, up is down... haha...

Things are not what they seem...

... and stranger things have happened, take for instance the 4-4 draw at Anfield, pulsating, one for the fans, but to Liverpool's title ambitions, a huge setback... Let's just hope United drop points until the end of the season... Difficult, but where there's hope in the hearts, anything is possible...

Lately things in my life, I cannot understand for the life of me, why things aren't what they used to be. I half expected it, but I didn't expect it to go all Apollo in a very short period of time... Relationships drift apart, communication gets lesser, and the situation gets more boring... I want to go out, I want to bring people go out, and I want to do all my unfinished businesses by this holiday...

It's nice to see that they are doing well, in whatever they are doing, just that I can be there too... Everytime I want to be with them, it seems... different... when this time last year there were no problems, now it's all different... All the friendships, all the times spent, now seems like a distant memory... Hope that I will not forget them and they wil not forget me... Wonder if im still remembered or already forgotten... I'm the forgettable one, the one nobody's gonna remember in a week's time, to quoe Simon Cowell... and that's the sad fact...

One thing that I really wanna do is spend time with my friends, my family, those that I care for, and those that care for me, but everytime I wana bring everyone out, always there's some that can't make it, and hopfully someday can gather all around and have a fun day out... hehe... this Sunday I aim to at least enjoy myself and spend time with friends and cousins... lol!

And American Idol was a blast! Top 7 markII was brilliant! Adam, Danny and my (slight) fav Kris Allen all blew the stage last night! wow! Idol is really getting to the business end now, and the pressure's on for the Top 7! I liked Kris' arrangement of the song, and the way he turned it into his own, and that's not the 1st time he's done it... Props also to Adam Lambert, who also does his arrangement brilliantly, coming out trumps again this time! Dany Gokey, what can I say? Consistently brilliant, from day 1, as we all saw... wow! Those are my Top 3, and whoever wins it, well deserves it! Fantastic...

As a closing note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALVIN WILSON! haha... 23 to da 4! XD!

Lonely at the crossroads...

It's been a long, long while since i posted anything up here, partly coz i moved up to Vox, and my Facebook notes.. It wasn't too long ago that this was my main blog, but as time passes, and trends change, shifted to Vox, Facebook, and now I've decided to revive this blog, just out of interest, and because lots of my friends uses Blogspot, and especially my cuz Sammy! haha... yeah, hopefully my 3 blogs will be synchronised...

Lots have changed since my last post here in September 2008, and now i'm 19, older, wiser, but somehow i still feel younger, like I'm only 16... Everytime i visit this Blogspot, it reminds me of the times when I was 16, the moments, the year 2006, it was such a big year, amazing...

Now its April 2009, lots have changed since then, with friends going abroad and over west and south, and new friends aplenty... I'm already in college, left school long ago, and currently midway through... I'm no longer in Lifeteen, sadly, its past the time already, but i'm sure my friends and cousins will learn alot from there... Now i'm contemplating my future, and what it brings...

This year, apart from the RAY Camp, has been a quiet one for me, really strange, a third way through the year, and not many moments normally, compared to years past... And I haven't gone out much also, only once or twice with my friends... I want another outing with my friends and siblings... lol... maybe soon, coz now I'm on holiday for 2 weeks... yeah! exams over! but then, 4th semester of my diploma starts in 2 weeks... sigh... oh well... College life is breezy, ok, but kinda lonely as well...

I wonder if my friends will slowly forget me, especially those that have gone beyond far, and those that I haven't seen for a while... Somehow I didn't envisage this, that now, I'm quite lonely, and no one to hang out with... All also busy or unavailable... And maybe it's the age difference, but my sister seem to forget me or don't bother about me anymore... Last Friday, went to SHC, just to pick up stuff, and she was there, but she didn't even come and talk, just say Hi, and then wander off, and doesn't seem to care... This is not the first time it's happened... And others as well... Was kinda sad... But i kept it to myself, and smile...

Yeah, everytime I'm upset, I either don't show it, hide it and smile like nothing's happen, or show it and don't give a damn, I'm upset, and my mood and expression changes... I'm emotional, I'm passionate, and when something's not right, I show it... It's just me... Sometimes I can be way too caring and nice, but when the time comes, I can be sad and upset... haha...

Sometimes I look back at old pictures from past moments, and wonder, 'gee what happened to that person,' or 'why am I not in touch with that person' and so on... All the group photos apparently are just photos, they're not real sometimes... Funny huh... I'm a loner, I don't have siblings, I don't have a partner, I don't go out at nights, I seldom go out on a trip, and seldom get invited to parties...

All in all, despite all the friends, all the moments, all that, at the end of the day, I'm still alone... Check my phone, no one bother to say Hi or How R Ya or so on, only a few... My FB? Unless I start commenting, no one bother to comment and talk to me... And more... At the end of the day, I'm alone, and I can even guess some people will laugh at me coz of my big size and unsocializable kunun...

In a few years time, I would like to see how will I be doing... If I don't end up at the madhouse, then I consider myself lucky... At this rate, It won't be long before I end up in the docks... Everywhere I go, I always end up alone... If you don't believe, go and see whereever I am... And see all the groups of people, and where I stand... In the middle...

Alone...

Falling Slowly...

For the first time in a long while, I just sat here, listening to a nice song by Kris Allen, and my mind just went blank... empty... no thoughts... just really listening and really feeling the song... And it feels good, relaxed, thoughtless... I really liked the song, the mood... After talking about stuff with my friend, suddenly i just went blank...

The song in question? Falling Slowly, from the movie "Once", sang by Kris Allen during American Idol, originally by Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová... Its a beautiful one, i suggest you all go find it...

And from that and from that period of silence, here's a song I wrote, all from my head...

I had some good times and some bad times, but all worth going through
Just to see you smile, makes my day and night
I don't know what it is that makes me feel this way
And I hope this feeling lasts forever...

I had some heartbreaks and some heartaches
I've also had some nightmares and some sleepless nights
None can compare to the reality of waking up
Without you in my sight and in my heart...

I've never known the feeling of being close to your heart
To make you feel my love
I just wish one day you'd come running to my arms
And the whole world will seem miles apart...

Yeah, its been a rollercoaster few months... Haven't wrote a note or blogged in a long while... From the highs of RAY camp, to the lows of exams, to the highs again of seeing 2 people in my life whom i havent met for so long, for different reasons... This is to Aldric, my lil brother, im so glad and so happy to have a lil brother like ya, and so happy to see ya after a long while... And to Maxine, i know this is going to be awkward, but I'm very happy to see ya and get to talk to ya after a long while, and glad to see ya alright... Hope to keep in touch, and take care ya... You were my lil sis, and I hope we still are... n_n!

A more detailed and personal note coming soon! Had it written on paper, now had to find it...