During my school days and college times, I was active in maintaining my blog and even writing some creative ideas out here; but since then, life's changed. I miss those days before Facebook, I miss blogging often and letting honest feelings out through a blog without being misinterpreted or misconstrued as viciously as today's social media. Back then, a blog was not an easy thing to maintain, and I myself have neglected mine for so long.
These days, it seems long form writing has been put aside in favour of shorter, more direct writing, no thanks to modern times. I really salute and respect my friends who can write blog posts after blog posts that are long and narrative! Even as I'm typing this I'm running out of ideas on what to say!
10 years ago, I was in Form 3, and I never imagined life would turn out this way, not for a single moment. Going to college, getting a job, maybe I could see that, but not where I ended up studying the subjects that I did, and working as the job that I had. At 15, all you could think of was PMR (now no more haha!) and just having fun.
Looking back to old photographs, or listening to music I first heard during these time periods of school brought back so many memories, regrets, opportunities taken and passed, but that's life. I'm happy anyway with who I have around me in my life, make that clear. I just wish I didn't wish school to be done so quickly; although I did appreciate every single moment of it.
The loves I loved and lost in school, and the achievements I had, all went out of the window when I went to college. That's when things levelled up, and I met new friends, had new crushes that lasted longer and deeper, and even bigger experiences! Things that stick out, of course meeting my now best friends and loved ones, college trip to KL, and all the things in between!
After college, then came the missionary school SoW, and 2 months away in Singapore, which turned out great at that time, but now 2 years on, it seems I miss the memories more than the people themselves. Nothing against them, but it's just awkward when we don't meet for a long time, and when I head over there, then things get interesting.
Missing memories more then the person seems to be the running theme of my life; there's a saying that loving someone and loving the idea of someone are two different things, and I think I made so many mistakes when it came to liking someone and chasing someone that probably wasn't worth it over and over again. I think I kept liking the idea of someone more than the person sometimes, I honestly suck when it comes to love.
My best friends around me know when it comes to love, I don't know how many crushes I have that eventually crushed my heart and made me so emotional and crazy, it's just crazy thinking about it! Right now, I'm just taking one day at a time, and just looking for the right one without going in too deep too soon and making the same mistakes.
Now, my 1st job experience behind me, I don't know what the future holds, and I don't want to worry too much, despite the pressure from surroundings, I want to live my life with no regrets, and even if it means living it differently to normal, then so be it. Everyone's different, and I'm confident one day I'll settle down and carry on with life.
It seems I could write a biographical book about my life; doubt anyone would buy it though hah! Cheers!
