it's all a big haze...

From being so close, to practically just normal friends, how did it go south so fast? well, for starters, I did everything without overdoing anything, but in the end it just got out of my hands, it's not up to me now...

These past few months have been tough, everyday was a struggle, and honestly still is, I am struggling to even wake up with a smile on my face, more so looking forward to the day, I've come to a point in life where I had no motivation to even get up from bed, that's how down and depressed I was, but slowly with the help of friends I'm getting better, but anytime I can just break down again and be really depressed, I'm that fragile now...

I'm slowly trying to let go, slowly just trying to forget about her, but this one's the hardest, because first and foremost we're good friends, and she really helped me alot when I was down, and she's different, not like the rest, she's one amazing person with an amazing faith, and though we may never be together, she taught me alot of things, and I know I can go through this tough times on my own, and yeah, I guess upon reflection, I've learned enough to move on, but with a view behind to all the good things...

Uncertainty creates insecurity, and leads to depression, and basically that's what happening, I feel so insecure now because of what's happening, how we're drifting apart, and I don't want that to happen, but if she loves someone else, and that person loves her back, and they're happy together, I can't stop them, I should be happy for them, but I know I've missed out again...

For a year that started off so well, so great, it's really ending with so much heartbreak and emotion... If the world's really ending, then so be it, but I want to be prepared...