There comes a time...

There comes a time
When nothing lasts forever
And what has been said and done
All to be forgotten

There comes a time in a person's life
When the one whom you care for
And care for you
Starts to drift apart

There comes a time
When siblings start to grow apart
They talk less and less
Thinking that it is not neccesary

But for this world
It is neccesary
For things that seem subtle
May turn out to be the biggest part of your life

It's sad that we have grown apart
You know I will always care for you
Even though you never cared for me
Only for a while it seems

There comes a time
When someone has to say goodbye
To leave this town
Forever...

Alone

Why don't you leave me alone?
Why do you have to keep pushing me
I'm on the edge of disaster
To the point of no breaking back

This is my last second chance
To put everything right
Yet you make it this way
The hard way, no easy way

After all that I have done
All I ask for is for some freedom
Freedom of choice
To follow my heart

All my life I have wanted
To do something right
Yet you never let me do
Just dictating what I do

Life is never easy.. But it is never hard either...

Simply bored...

I can seriously die of loneliness, boredom and frustration now, I was so close yet so far… I was already knocking on the door, and to find that I then went home is absolutely frustrating… I don’t blame anyone, but it’s so frustrating, and i’m bitterly disappointed at not being able to join my mates… Instead what has been a boring and frustrating Saturday night got even worse… Bitterly disappointed….

Tennessee Line...

I open my lungs to breathe in forgiveness and love
Haunting me now reminders of how I used to be
And on down the road my troubles are sure to follow
Looking out the window, the hell if know where I will go
So I'll just keep on driving

On my way to L.A. looking into the rear view as the roads fade away
I've sworn off my past, first to last bad call that I ever made
Tell me how to make right every wrong turn that I've learned?
So this can all end tonight
Tennessee line just changed my mind, well it's my heart I'll follow this time

Who would've known that pride is so hard to swallow
As I rest on the shoulder of a road growing colder
With the trouble I own, should I just keep on driving?

On my way to L.A. looking into the rear view as the roads fade away
I've sworn off my past, first to last bad call that I ever made
Tell me how to make right every wrong turn that I've learned?
So this can all end tonight
Tennessee line just changed my, well it's my heart I'll follow this time

I know I must be doing something
Head the other way, back to where I started out
Ask myself if I can turn it all around tonight
And stop living with doubt

On my way to L.A. looking into the rear view as the roads fade away
I've sworn off my past, first to last bad call that I ever made
Tell me how to make right every wrong turn that I've learned?
So this can all end tonight
Tennessee line just changed my mind, well it's my heart I'll follow this time

I'm gonna turn it all around tonight at the Tennessee line...

(It’s a great song by Daughtry and Vince Gill, a country legend… wonderful!)

Both sides...

On one hand, I wish this year can end quickly, coz it's been a rough year, apart from a few ups and highlights, its mostly been horrific, like a worst nightmare... Everything I tried to do, I failed almost all the time... This has been a year highlighted by failures, and really stinks... If there weren't any highlights, then it would have been a bad year...

On the other hand, I ain't looking forward to next year either.. I'm gonna say goodbye to my teenage years (what explosive years! XD!) and turn 20, and I'm not really in the mood or looking forward to it now... I'm gonna have to leave those years behind me, and I don't wana lose all the memories that I have, and the friends that I made.. Plus, its my final year, and I am not too excited about that...

All in all, I'm in a lose-lose situation... haih.. =( I hate this, you know? And more so, when I talked to my mum, it makes it even worse... go figure...

As the year is ending, and the christmas season is coming, I have been reflecting back on this year, all the ups and downs, and a continuation from last year... Last christmas season, during the holidays, were the best, and hopefully this year I can do it again... I wanted to last Sunday, then at the last moment my lil bro cant make it, so postponed again... haih...

This year has been a really interesting year, with many highlights, firsts and acheivements... Maybe soon I will do a recap of the year in review... =)

Splashing day...

It was a rainy day, that perfectly summed up today: wet and wild! haha! It was Samuel's 16th birthday over at TNGC, and it started off raining, but soon it subsided, so the others went off into the pool, and chaos ensued! It was wild and wet all over, splash here and there, and they really had a good time in the pool... It was a cool party, and thanks! =)

Then after that I went home, then the bad news came... Aldric told me that he couldn't come tomorrow, so the plan to go jalan2 and have some time together with my bro, sis and friends are off... =( this was really down, after I planned already, then call it off.. haih.. I'm sad coz of that now... Now I have to wait 2 weeks for the next chance... I can't wait! =( Hope the next time it can go through.. I want a memory with them this year, and have some quality time, just like last year...

Remembrance Day 2009...

Today, 11-11 is a day to honour the brave soldiers and all those who fought so bravely during the war, and this is a Remembrance Day... Poppy flowers in memory...

And today is a day I will never forget, in other words I will remmeber, not for the right or wrong reasons, but it was a surprise day, one that shook me, but ended up OK, so call it bittersweet, call it up and down...

Today started off well, then in the afternoon, one big shock, an emergency, I don't think I want to talk about it here, only my sis and best friend know, but it was really a shock, but in the end it was alright, although not without any worries! This day can't be more appropriate, on Remembrance Day...

Also, congrats to my sis, and her school, the team, for winning the national competition! hehe... congrats Bianca! =P! I'm proud of ya! hehe... That leads me to wonder, they got a great reception when they went home as champions...

What if anyone had been a world champion, coming from Malaysia, for example badminton... Malaysia has never produced a world champion in badminton, so maybe it's time to rise to the top? =)

This setback today has really made me stop and think about life, and made me realise alot, but I wonder, how come I managed to handle it so cool, when it was a huge emergency? haha...

To Brandon, I wish you a speedy recovery, and it's good to hear you getting well, and I hope you will be alright! =)

I guess life goes on... Battle Studies, coming out by John Mayer! (John, you beauty, love your work, and I oughta get paid for advertising you mate.. haha! kidding...)

Aching Hunger...

It's kinda funny, just sitting here, listening to a composition by Steve Vai, Par Brahm, just listening to something so simple, yet so insightful, the melody's simple, yet intense... As I sit here, waiting for my friends to go online, and chat... Waiting for her to online MSN and play webcam! haha! Jacq, ingat ah! haha... yeah, waiting for her to come online... mana bah ko ni... haha...

As I sit here and listen to the music, my mind kind of floated into the distance, with the music, and the feeling, one of relaxation and peace, is nice, and its been a long time since I actually had time to sit and just unwind... And I thought of all the moments in the past, I had with people, and then I went back into now, and the song ends, and its back home...

I'm feeling kind of strange now, I don't know why... Oh well...

Echoes of a distant sound...

... the sound that says "I'm not wanted" and "Time to go away" seems to be endlessly ringing in my ears... No surprise here eh?

"And now the end is here, and so I face the final curtain, I did it my way" and I'm happy that I did it my way, to be friendly to everyone, to care for everyone, to be there, be a good person, and be close to everyone... And If they don't like me for who I am, then bugger all...

"For long you live and high you fly, and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry"all you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be... so be it... I want to live a long life, a life full of laughter and joy, and to be with the ones I love... =)

"All I ever wanted was a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you" and that's how I want it to be, but things are never what they seem to be, isn't it?

It's been a hectic week, and what happened on Friday really shocked and stunned me, because of the gravity of the situation, and its really been a strange few days... I'm praying that they will be alright... Pray for them...

Not the holiday I had in mind, have lots of stuff to do, but I enjoy it, I get to go out with people and loved ones that I haven't met in a long time... I miss my bro Aldric, hope he's OK, i miss my sis Bianca, she's in Pahang now for competition, all da best (update: they won I think... congrats!)... I miss my friends, I miss the moments last year, last xmas... Everything!

I'm really in a fragile state of mind, shocked, confused of what's happening, and it's really bothering me... =(