Long absence of emotion and reason...

The reason i titled it that way is coz my internet was out for the best part of 3 weeks, and i really miss blogging and writing notes, and communicating with friends, and during that period i had what was called an absence of emotion, always down and out, and my reasoning was kinda out... Oh how i miss it...

Anyway, i don't know why, but when listening to some songs, i really miss the moments i had with certain people, my brother, my sister, my friends, and someone that i care alot for, and i just miss last year so much that i still cant believe it's gonna be October 2008, and soon Christmas, and soon new year... For the first time in my life, im really dreading the new year, coz alot of changes will happen, and some that will rock my world... I'm ready for it, but i just dont know how long will it take for me to wake up and say "gee, i cant do this anymore" or "omg, my friend is moving far far away and i really miss that friend" and the worst thing is to lose contact... Ok im thinking too much, but better to think then not to think... Get it?

The last few months has been really an eye opener, and finally i woke up and realize, its 2008, its ending, and time passes so freaking fast... After my second semester started, it was kinda boring, ok la, but only 15 ppl in class, 15! omg... but the good thing is we get 2 know each other better, so yeah its ok... hehe... other than that, same old same old, boring life, single, still looking, and i know, everyone hates me... haha jk jk...

It's been a while since i last met my lil bro Aldric and my sis Shalei... One is busy wif PMR and one is in KL... Go figure... miss dem very much... esp my lil bro... looking back at pics from last year, he seems to always be in pics with me, that's how much i love my lil bro... and yet i rarely talk with him coz he has been always busy, and i seem to catch him in a wrong time always... lol...

Back to now, recently RAY had a thanksgiving dinner for the Mission Possible Rally, and it was a blast, and i had a great nite, get 2 hang out with all my friends, after all its not every time an event like dat happens... i get to meet friends from both RAY and LT, and dats great... haha... and LifeTeen, wow, more and more juniors joining, and its getting bigger! which is great, and now that some seniors are retiring due to old age (haha well not dat old... ;-) hehe...) and maybe return as Sub-Core... hehe... ever expanding!

Well, i guess that's it for now... That's pretty much my life now recently in one big wrap.. lol...\

It feels good to blog again... ah...

Cheerio!

Mission Rally Finale recaps...

Yeah, i know it's been a while, was kinda busy, but now finally i can give my thoughts and recap of an amazing night...

It started with the Mission 1, where LifeTeen helped out with the rally... and it was great, although it was kinda hot (it was afternoon what else?)... There was Praise and Worship by LT and RAY, as well as a haring by Sharlene... but it ended early, which was quite a dampener, but nonetheless it was nice... unfortunately, i missed Mission 2 coz i was sick and had to rest, but that set up nicely for the Finale...

The rally started after 7.30 pm, and had arrived only just, and when i arrived, i didn't know what to expect, and to be honest i was just blown away, and what was to come, i will remember for a long time... the set up was very good, professional, but even those were put to shade (literally!) by a blackout (not once, but twice! whether by accident or by purpose, you decide..)... me and my mates went to seat, and the show begins...

The night started out with opening songs, then it was Praise and Worship... Then the first blackout, but still they continued to praise and worship, and perform... luckily the power went back on in a while, and the first one looks like it was kinda planned (i dunno)... Then there was one of three lucky draws for prizes, and a talk by Father Steven from Australia (if i'm not mistaken), and then more Praise and Worship... truly it was an amazing night... then the second blackout happened... the passion, the spirit, the will shown by everyone present that night, continuing to praise God and perform, and sing, was absolutely speechless... it was truly... words could not describe it... The second time was true... Then the power came on (again) and show resumes... haha...

Then there was the draw for the grand prize, but no closing song... small details, no, but still it was great... the night was great for me personally, and i'm sure for the others who were present... wish there was more of these kinda events often... hehe... last year was LT concert, now its RAY mission rally... next year, who knows... hehe...

(sorry no pics, i didnt take much, was concentrating on the night!)

Did you ever think about the day...

... that you will get your first job?
... that you will meet your one true love?
... that you will win an Olympic Gold medal? (ok now that's too far... haha!)

anyway, my point is, have u ever gave a thought about your future, your plans, goals, achievements and so on... and this is where i must congratulate Lee Chong Wei for winning an Olympic silver medal... it really is a good achievement... from the small boy playing badminton in Bukit Mertajam, to the academy, to who he is now... u gotta say, he has his aims and goals, and he's getting ever closer!

anyway, lately i havent been blogging around lately, due to my comp getting bust for weeks, my final exams, and lots of stuff to do... hehe... its been a month... wow.. whereas if i was at school, no matter how busy i was, i would still blog every 2-3 days... gee life has changed...

in just these last few months, i had gone thru more emotional rollercoasters than the last 2 years... wow... the course isn't tough, its actually fun and easy, but its the expectations, the people around me, and the pressure that got to me... dont get me wrong, i can handle pressure, but when it totally overwhelmes you, that's when it starts to get to ya...

i guess i should be happy, i solved alot of problems that happened this last few weeks, and actually have something to look forward to, but the lingering feeling remains, that the damage has been done... i wonder, i feel like used goods, past sell by date, not good enough for anyone, always be 2nd rate... im not saying its true, but hey, anything can happen...

its true dat if u dont blog often or u havent blogged for a long while, then its hard to get blogging again... hopefully i can blog well soon again... hehe...

anyway, last week was my final exams for semester 1, so now im on a 2 week sem break, and back for sem 2 on 2 sep... yeah... finally the holidays to recover and think about all d things ive done... final exams were ok, kinda easy but tricky, hope i pass all.. but i aim for all As, gotta strive to be the best, and set high aims, like Michael Phelps. 8! gold medals... salute... hehe... hopefully i will get 5As =c 5 gold medals... hahaha.... jk jk...

Mission Possible Rally was awesome, maybe i'll post about it in a separate post, with pics... keep u posted... oh and Aline, sorry i tink i havent given u de pics! lol...

what else? thats it i guess... not much before final exams, just fooling around, studies and so on.. lol.. so await my post on the Finale Rally!

Donkeytown...

As i listen to this song, it made me think back to memories of 2006, and all the good times, and since this song is about a quiet town, donkeytown, and checking out, and it really suited me now...

ever had a dream where u enjoyed it so much and dreamt about you and your loved ones, and then wake up in the morning to reality, and think to yourself, damn, wish it was true... ever had that moment when you went back in time, and saw the memories that help shape who you are now, and think "wish i can change the past"...

that's the danger of thinking too much, and dreaming too much, for the past is past, and now is the time to make a change, be who you want to be, and lead a better life than you had in the past... what's past is gone, and think that your life now is better than the past...

yeah...

... but it's hard to forget the past... but one thing's for sure, i will never forget all the good times...

ok back to the current times... hehe...

lately this last few days has been really strange, really really one of the most rollercoaster ones i ever had... and crying in class, wow, before an exam, lucky it didnt affect it much, or else i would have been in trouble... hehe.... i don't know why, im a bit emotional, im too big hearted, i care for people too much, till i get easily affected, and really up and down... yea... gotta try and be less caring maybe, or just be strong...

today i had the chance to look back and reflect on the past few days, and yeah it was kinda silly for me to cry, but i mean i cant stand it, if i just keep all those emotions to myself, its gonna get worse, so that's why, the crying released all (or most) of it, and even now i still feel kinda weird, up and down... wow... maybe its the exam blues, coz its less than a month till exam starts, and this time in college, its much more dangerous, so yeah... hope i can do my best! and i slept most of the day coz its so boring being stuck in my room, i cant go out coz my house is kinda messy, under renovation... so boring.. yeah, that's life being a single kid, no sibling to talk to and share your problems..

One of the problems of having no siblings, you cant talk to anyone when u have problems (im not gonna share it with my parents, crazy?!), when u need a friend or company at times, and lots more... gee... oh well... gotta get on with life...

today, i did my assignment, and oh, talked to my friend Jacquelene on the phone, bored kan.. hehe.. tular Aldric too busy, jarang meet him already... i miss my didi Aldric owh... ahaha... bha Jac, jaga2 dia d skul la.. lol.. guess im lucky to meet a didi like Aldric, altho he's busy, still.. hehe... and a nice fren Jacquelene, a really nice person, and jaga my didi at skul (just kidding! hehe...)... just wish i had a family like dat, aldric my lil brother... hehe...

well, that's all i think... after the emotions of the last day and last post, this is kinda considered mild... ahaha...

tata!

Explosion of emotions...

... that just happened out of nowhere around 12.58 pm at Room 18-2 at my college... all the emotions, all the thoughts and all the stress and pressure of the last few days finally took its toll on me, and i just let it all out in painful silence, silent tears dropping down my eyes... And eventually i cried as hard as i just wanted to... The emotions just overwhelmed me... Why is this happening?! Damn...

It all started yesterday, after Accounting test... it was ok, not hard, just be careful, and cautious... after i finished the test, i was resting, and then it just hit me: "dang it, all my friends, my good friends, have gone already, or are going away soon..." and suddenly thoughts just rushed to my head... dang it... then i remembered d past, and all d memories, and then "damn" suddenly there's a big void where the past was, and like i felt so cold and scared, that u know everyone's going away, and you struggle to fathom it, even though u know it and have accepted the fact... it just hit me... and after that i felt sad, and then my emotions was even worse when something happened, that made me feel funny, left out, sad and weird... then i went to the library to get away and calm myself down... my mood was absolutely crazy and down... so i wanted 2 cry at d lib, but didn't, and my fren asked me wats wrong, and talked2 it out, and then ok abit, but the down was still there... and i cried on the way home from class...

Then today, worse was to come... I was kinda sad that my friends were going off soon, tomorrow and next week... then in accounting, i still couldn't understand one particular topic, and kept doing the excercises wrong, and this added to my stress (i know i know such a small thing to stress on, but during the heat of the moment in the class, u will know why...) and also self doubts and thoughts begin to creep in... but before that, a few days ago, suddenly coz of what my dad said, i wanted to shout and scream "why dont i have any siblings?! why am i d only kid?! is it coz u hate little children?!" and i just wanted 2 scream... imagine all these years being d only child... so lonely and depressing... then i just wanted 2 scream again today, but i cant.... so all those culminated with the burst of emotion at class... coz of siblings, studies, friends, my crush, everything... coz i keep on accidentally hurting my friends, and kept getting hurt... im really sorry...

haih sometimes i wonder, am i too caring and friendly till i hurt my friends... ppl say im a genius, but i cant even go through accounting smoothly... i explode too often, so wats d use of being a good person when i end up hurting the ones i love? haih...

hopefully i will learn from all this past mistakes, and as my friends (esp jess my classmate... thanks alot jess... really owe u lots...) advice me and talked 2 me, forget the past, move on, just forget ot, think of now, and think that your life now is better than in the past... yeah...

... but sometimes its hard to ignore or forget the past... it keeps coming back to haunt or disturb you...

Depreciation...

Yeah, it's been a while since i last wrote, being busy with classes, tests and all... Life recently has been one emotional rollercoaster, and just days ago i had probably the biggest heartbreak and shock...

LifeTeen recently said goodbye to Donovan Funk, and also Shalei, my lil sis, and it seems that more and more people are leaving. Change is a-coming... Gonna miss those two, and also to all my friends who are leaving, and will be... The list goes on... Oh well... They will always be my friends, and can still contact them whenever... The modern world now has endless possibillities... So to all my friends leaving, good luck, all the best, and take care mates...

Well, at least there's new friends at college, and so far my class has been kinda nice, if not wacky and fun... The subjects are kinda ok, although accounting can be a little struggle at times... Double entry, credit, debit... haha... I met one new friend, and her name's Jessica Chin, and she is a wonderful friend, so lucky to know someone like her... haha... she's a very nice person, understanding, and sot2... hahaha! and also Victor, my crzay partner... haha... sama2 siap kerja awal... wakaka... he's an accouniting genius... and also Evelyn, my old pal from LT, and now classmates... Brilliant... haha... So lucky to be in a class that has some wacky people... haha... livens up the class at times...

maybe that's it for now... ran out of ideas... haha... cheers!

What an amazing 2 weeks! Mega weekend out!

Part 1 was about camp, and thanks to my friend, made a small edit and republished it...

Now for part 2...

After camp, i got home, all sad, coz this was my last camp, and i had 2 go 2 classes the very next day, unlike all my friends who had school holidays... oh man... haha... and i actually almost cried at class, coz the emotions of the moment just got me... That's how much i miss camp, and what happened....

Well, life got on as usual, until Friday, when me and some of our friends went out, and hang around... We had planned to catch a flick and then shop around, but what eventually happened was so awesome, and way past anything i had ever imagined.. LOL... it was a truly great day, me and my friends did something great... oh, and congratulations to Fred and Gloria, officially engaged on Friday... so it was a good day...

Then it was Saturday, and Fred and Glo's CG had an outing to go watch a movie and hang around, movie treat actually... hehe... so there were like 17 of us, and woah it was so cool man... we all watched Indiana Jones (supposed 2 watch Narnia again, but late showtime... huhu...) at 12 noon... I brought my friend, Jacquelene Danica along, kinda like a guest... hehe... too bad Aldric can't come, would have loved to hang out with my titi... haha! so we all played games 1st (well, almost all...) and Walter, Adam and Jason raced against Fred, and all 4 cars were linked... the result? an awesome and hillarious race... if u were there, gerenti ketawa... those 4 guys were literally racing each other, and eventually Fred won (hahaha!) the race... then the girls raced, baru 1st lap suda berlanggar... haha... then guys again, then girls... some of us went to play other games... so siok!

Then it was showtime, and the movie was great, funny, and kinda interesting... I wont reveal much about the movie or else spoil suda... haha! then we all went down to eat, and planned our next jouney, mass... Too bad some of us cant make it to mass, coz of time... but most of us did, some followed Jason's car (the girls la dat... haha...) while the rest of us either took d bus or walked... yes, walk from CP to SHC... Yeah, me and a few friends walked 2 mass... But before that, we went window shopping, and they were looking for shirts... hehe... had a nice time jalan2 and hanging out with them, esp with friends that i can rarely meet and hang out with, like Jacquelene (my titi's babysitter! ahaha juz kidding!), Javier, my sis Shalei... so yeah... thanks alot to Fred and Gloria for bringing us all out... hehe... and for the tickets!

Then we walked to SHC for mass, and along the way we met Eman driving, along the road, so we asked him to give a lift to one of us, and the rest of us continued marching on... What a day... hehe... Then mass, then hang out before going home...

So that was it, basically... Too bad there was no LifeNite...

It was a really fun experience, and i really enjoyed the 2 days... now that my time in LT is almost up, enjoy it while u can... hehe... next year i'll be back, as a sub-core hopefully... wakaka...

so until next time, tata!

"This is the time of my life!" - David Cook

Congratulations DC! What an emotional victory! Respect!

What an amazing 2 weeks! LifeTeen Camp 2008!

From the LifeTeen Youth Camp, to the charity work, to the CG outing, and time out with friends, it's really been an amazing 2 weeks, and the great thing is, it was truly awesome!

First off, LifeTeen camp...

It was truly an amazing camp, my last ever LT camp, and it really touched me and really made me sit up and think... haha... It was awesome, despite all the difficulties and problems...

It was in Kaingaran, Tuaran, and the place is very nice, but no line most of the time, so imagine the panic and flurry of people trying to get signal (yes Javier and Jason, i mean u, and me as well... haha!) and call their "loved ones".. (insert name here:)

OK seriously, we took the afternoon bus at 3 pm, and reached at 6 pm, and upon arrival, woah, cooling, but not that cold, and the place was nice... Great, where's the boys' dorm? Thought it was next to the hall, but those are for the girls, lucky them... Guys dorm? Walk down... and keep walking... keep walking... keep walking... (hey this is not a Johnnie Walker ad ah!) down the hill, down, down, and then down a steep pathway, and finally, the guys' dorm, some few km farther (and deeper, i swear it was so much lower than the hall level!) from the hall... Ok, so we unpacked, and settle in, then we went to the hall for the opening stuff, and watched the movie "Pay It Forward", and the opening dance, Malo malo Dance... haha! then its off to bed, after a long walk back...

Second day (or first day officially) of camp, and woke up to a beautiful morning, and the rest of the day was great... The opening mass was kinda nice, then gther at the hall for Group photo session... kinda rushing... but nice... then the 1st session was by MelNic, about the holy life of Blessed Pier Girogio Frassati (itailano, yes...) and what he did... His charitable life is really a great example.. And then it was lunchtime, then session 2 was about Holiness and striving to be Holy... Then teatime, and we returned to the dorm, before dinner, and then it was Praise and Worship, and the 3rd session is about Family Issues - Made For Holiness... The talks were great, and i learned alot from it, the Praise and Worship (P&W) was cool, and the skits were nice as well... (Skit language ahead:) "Eh, maaaaaannnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaa waaaaaaalllllleett saaaaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaa?" hahaha! "Didcha see that?! didcha?! me too! let's rewoind!!" haha.... (maybe i will post a video of it on youtube soon, or maybe my friends...)

Third day (second day offcially) of camp, and first off was the Sunday Mass, and Healing session together at the church... It was really good... then it was Session 4, Social Issues and the Big Picture... it was about the growing challenges in life, and they highlighted certain aspects of social life, such as the music we hear, and so on... Then lunchtime, and the geng tangga sit together and makan2... haha... u know who u are... then it was Confession and Counselling... I didnt manage to go for Confession, coz there were too many people... then teatime, and then it was time for the outreach people to share their experiences living with the village folks... It was so nice, i regretted abit that i didnt go, but i was not really fit, had a hip injury, so i cant... The sharing really made me think, man im so lucky to have all that i have now, when those people could survive on bare necessities and make the most of what they have...
Then it was Praise and Worship, High Praise, and the session was absolutely amazing, and i felt really touched and so happy... I dunno why, but i felt happy... Guess that's just what He wants me to be... Then the session ended, and bedtime...

Last day, man that's when i felt so sad, coz it was the last day, and it was my last camp... Wake up and got my bags straight to the hall in preparation... It was time for the final session, sharing and testimony of the teens... I actually wanted to go up and say alot of things, but when i got up, i forgot what i wanted to say and said little only... There were quit a number of people who went up and shared their testimony, and each of them was unique... Then it was the final morning mass for us, and it started to rain.. Then we all packed up, and got ready to go home... So sad... Took some final pics, go around, and then got ready to leave... The crazy gang (me and my friends) we all gathered, and boarded the same bus again, but the final day was kinda messy and chaotic, and then as we were about to leave, the bus in front of us got grounded, so our departure got delayed... Then as we travelled back, we stopped at Gunung Emas, and bought food and took pics there... And i managed to hurt myself falling down... Lucky it was only a minor injury... Then we arrived at SHC, and the end...

Overall throughout this camp, it was an amazing experience, and totally different from previous camps, and best of all, the talks were nice! I really wished the camp wouldn't end, alas, all good things must come to an end, so, with that, i bid LTYC 2008, adieu, but it will always stay in my memory forever!

So that's it about LifeTeen camp.. sure i may have missed some things out due to time constraints writing it, or for some reasons... It's the middle of the night, and i'm typing this, so bear the mistakes... But basically, that's it...

(Part 2, the aftermath and continuation of camp, will be written next time)