2011: The Year In Review

It seems that every year it gets longer and longer, and better and better! 2011 has been special, though not better than last year, but unique and memorable in its own way... The heartaches stood out, but out of it I learnt alot and moved on, and rediscovered some family relations, and closer than ever! 2011 started where 2010 left off, on New Year's Eve, crossing over to New Year's Day...

January
This new year was different, I spent it watching the countdown and fireworks at Waterfront, then a dinner with my schoolmates at Alvin's crib, perfect way to start off the year! Then next day it was the usual caroling thanksgiving dinner, with my groupies! Then hang out with Lotte, Queenie, Joey and pals, RAY twice, and the Korean choir visit to SHC, what a nice way to start the year xD!

February
It was Chinese New Year, so busy preparing and receiving (ahem!), had another RAY session, and then hangout with Aldric, Queenie and Sherilyn! then later on we had a bigger hangout with Joey, Lotte, Queen, Lyn, and their mates Marjorie, Adrian, Jazli and Kevin... Ended the month with another RAY session, and more to come ;)

March
My Birthday month! for the first time, I managed to celebrate my birthday properly with a nice simple dinner with my besties, all those that I really want to be with, and I loved every single minute of it! It was just a dream, an absolute joy! Then it was LifeTeen mini bazaar, went to support them and meet my mates... It was a joy to organise this dinner, and to celebrate my day with the ones that matter =') 14th of March, my sis Charlene returned home from PLKN, and then we went out with Joey and her sis Lotte to catch up and have a chat =) then we celebrated my sis Cassandra's birthday with a simple lunch =) after that it was IU Day, and LifeTeen Youth Camp 2011 concert/finale, which I went to attend and watch =) the month ended with a class outing to Suria, and it was to be a start of many class outings ;)

April
April Fools' Day, normally no one would be doing anything for fear of pranks, but this day, it was memorable, went for a photoshoot with my besties =) then there was a suprise farewell party for my bestie Johenson, a surprise that went well, stayed the whole night out... then 15-17 April, we had a RAY Lenten Retreat at Pace Bene, a return to where I went in 2009, so it was nice... It was a very moving, speechless retreat, and one that was not to be missed... then Easter was here, and the usual triple mass, to fully grasp the Easter weekend... Then another bestie of mine, Jerome was leaving for studies too, so had a farewell for him at his place and then one dinner out with the gang... So I ended April wishing Joey and Jerome all the best for their studies...

May
Roger Wang and Friends! lovely concert by Roger and friends, loved it alot! wonderful repetoire of skills and talents on show, leaving me wanting more by the end of the concert! Then had the LJCCC Mother's Day celebration, along with TOB session, and this time it was the turn of Lotte and Lene to further their studies... I had a besties day out with Angelica at 1Borneo, spent the whole day there, and it was awesome! :3 hehe... The month ended with celebrating Ka'amatan with my bros and sis =)

June
RAY Holy Spirit Camp! The highlight of the month, without a doubt, but this year it was a little different... Because the camp clashed with my finals, I drove up on the 2nd day straightaway! It was a different and new experience, and it was exciting! haha! as usual, it brought so many memories, and healings, renewals, and a chance to start over again... Bundu Tuhan is such a blessed and wonderful place, always brings a tear to the eyes and heart :3 after returning from the mountains, I went to the 2011 KK Jazz Fest, and my friends from SIA performed, it was nice! Enjoyed the whole night, complete with furious stuff from the performers! The month ended with RAY as usual, and right at the end, a surprise day out with Lorenzo and Anthea =)

July
This was the month where there were a few big happenings, after all it was my holiday xD! All Saints Bazaar was the start of July, and I went alone, and caught up with few friends, but walked around mostly like a lonely soldier! HAHA! Then Lifeline Camp from 8-10 July, and had a great time, obviously great place, and loved the camp, brilliant! After returning from the mountains, I had an outing with my schoolmates on 11th and 12th, back to back xD! Then it was RAY Anniversary, and it was an awesome night, I enjoyed it from start to finish, just one of those perfect nights, absolutely lovely, and I couldn't ask for more! It was on 15th night, and 16th morning I flew straight away to KL to watch Liverpool FC in action that night! So from 15th night all the way to 16th night, I think I didn't sleep or rest at all, just one flat out journey! It was well worth it! I got to watch LIVERPOOL! how many people can say that? :D I was in KL from 16-21, and managed to spend a day with Evelyn and my aunt Jenette, and then a day with ma besties Joey, Jerome and Ryan! It was simply great!

August
The month was a slow one, until the end, that is xD! I spent a day with my childhood friends and cousin, Serene, Grace, Kevin, Samuel and Mich at Millenium... then had one last night out with my schoolmates before they went their separate ways, and it was nice to be able to meet them all again before they left =) but now some are back! hehe... there was a Pro-Life talk by Dr. Ligaya on 13th, at SHC, from afternoon till night, and it was an eye-opener... then on 26th, my besties Joey and Lotte came back, so we hang out wit Cass, and it was a nice day out... This month was also the start where I began to play badminton regularly with my sis Cass and friends, almost everyday, until November when everyone, including me, was busy...

September
Perfect start, a day out with the family on 2nd! :3 with Joey, Lotte, Lene, Cass, Ad, and Ameera! Our plan was actually to go to Atmosphere, but it was closed, so we stayed awhile, then diverted to 1Borneo, and we spent the evening and night there, and for the 1st time, me, Cass and Meera went home by bus, while the rest followed Jo, and it was a new experience xD! On 9th, I went to Jon Paradise's album launch at D'Junction, with Dang Bandangs and friends in the house! Then the longest day, on 16th September, a day I'll remember for both good and bad ;) I spent the whole day from morning to night away, and at night was exhausted! The next day we had a visit to CDC, where we visited the seminarians on behalf of RAY, and it was cool to see their experience and how their journey to priesthood is =)

October
October was kinda busy yet quiet month, all I had was badminton sessions and study times with ma sis... There was the SHC Bazaar, and I went the whole day to support, especially Lifeteen's booth =) I got to know some new friends, among them Vivian and Bian, as well as my old pal Jiwan! =) then my 2 classmates, Eve n Steph were in the INTIMA 17th batch, and we joined in the installation ceremony, very nice xD! Then the monthly RAY fellowship, and my classmate Eve's birthday lunch =) Overall, October was to be the end of one thing, and it signalled a big change in my life coming up...


November
November rain was the tone for the start, it was indeed raining personally for me, but the month ended well, it was this time of difficulty that I discovered and learnt something, and got close to my cuz Elvina, I'm really thankful she's there for me everytime, and although we're distant cousins (maybe) but we're close, and I really appreciate it... November was also the start of caroling practice, and RAY was the first to practice, followed by LifeTeen, eventually I joined the latter... My cousin Marcello got married on 17th, and on 25th was my bestie's sis Alethia's birthday party, together with my cuz Vina =)

The big one was on 26th, LifeTeen 7th Anniversary, and to return to where I used to be, used to go, and used to follow, it was an emotional return, and I enjoyed every minute of it, just the experience, it was a perfect night as well... Congratulations to Lifeteen, 7 years and counting! The last day was the first day we practiced for caroling, and I followed my cousins and besties in Jude Lopez's group, which set up a fantastic time ahead!

December
THE BEST MONTH! Carolling, outings with besties, family and friends, and most of all, CHRISTMAS! What more can I ask for? One caveat: it was my finals, final exams, but I didn't care, I wanted to have fun and spend time with my besties and cuzzies, and I did! My exams went well, thank God =) My exams was from 13th to 20th, and I guess it went well... Didn't really think much about it, I only wanted to do it and that's it!

I joined Jude Lopez's gang, the 'hobbits' as he calls us, and it was fun! We started caroling on 5th until 12th, and luckily my exams was on 13th till 20th, yet in between I went here and there, really awesome! We went caroling around KK High, Kepayan, Lido around there for 6 nights, and every night was a different experience, and those moments, truly unforgettable! My caroling group was just awesome, down to a man, all top class! It was just awesome to be able to bond with my cuzzies and besties, and spreading the Good News, and carol, and celebrate the Advent season this way =) Each night during caroling was just unique, and I will forever treasure those memories in my heart!

During the month, despite the exams, I actually went out alot and spent time with friends and family alot! I went out with Jaime, Duane and Joshua on 11th, and that night I went to Logos with my parents, on the last night, and I'll miss the ship alot, didn't really get time to really explore the whole ship =( One day I'll remember, a day out with my cuzzie Vina, Abby, Sasha, Jaime, Ony, Steph and Wesley on the 16th, best day out! Those days will never be forgotten <3

RAY were invited to carol at Kompleks Karamunsing on 17th, 21st and 23rd, and I went to watch all 3 days, as well as joined on 21st, awesome! RAY Christmas Dinner was on 18th, and it was a nice night, had fun, and helped out as much as I can =) Then 22nd, I went to meet my ex-Lifeteeners, my batch, at Up2U, and had drinks over chats about Lifeteen, and 23rd we went to Anthea's house with Lorenzo, Lornetha and Jonathan for a jam session/cover session, and stayed till morning! 24th, I had a day out with my besties Joey, Lotte, Lene, and Adriana, and we went out and straight to Christmas Eve mass at Sacred Heart! It was a long day, but a very fun day!

Christmas Day, I spent the day with my family, then went to Joey's grandparents' open house, and spent some time there! hehe... Then I met up with him again before he left on 27th, for a while in Millenium, and like that he was off... Didn't get to spend time with Jerome though, coz he was back for a very short time, few days, so didn't get to meet... Then on 28th, my cousin Bryony, her school organised a Masquerade Prom, so I went with my cousin Elvina, Abigail, and pals Duane, Jaime and Melissa, and it was a fun night, at 1st it was OK2, then free booze! xD! I didn't have any though, didn't want to drink again =) But I enjoyed the night, especially it was the last time I could spend time with my cuz Vina before she needs to study for SPM, and my friend Jaime who was going back to Singapore =)

On 29th, me and my friends Lorenzo, Jonathan, Lornetha, Gerald, and Deborah spent a night in Anthea's place again for some drinks and just hang out, and enjoyed the whole night, and what happened that night stays in that night ;) haha! The month and year finally winded down with enjoying the final day, and staying home while watching the fireworks and texting my cuzzie Vina and pal Vivian through the last minutes of 2011 and first minutes of 2012!
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Overall, I had a great year, filled with ups and downs, and I learnt so much in 2011... I think every year end we'll always say the same thing, that we learnt from mistakes, that the moments help shape who we are, and I think that's true... I learnt so many lessons the hard way, got to know who my true friends were, and actually, I never lost any friends, it's just that either I'm too shy or I didn't dare to reconnect with old pals, and now I'm starting to bit by bit, open up... I'm generally a shy person, despite my extrovert nature, and I'm slowly changing that... 2011 was a defining year, and 2012 will be great! Of course, there will be more lessons, more memories, more ups and downs, its how we react and how we respond to each and every one if it that defines who we are, who I am... So, adios 2011! You'll always be in my heart!

Christmas 2011!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2012!

This Christmas season, and December overall, has been an absolute blast! Even though my exams were on, it didn't stop me from having fun, spending time with besties, cousins, family and friends, caroling together with the best group ever, so wacky, fun, and awesome! I just love ya all! And to have hangouts with my friends, the memories of December 2011 will live long in the memory!

Here's to a blessed 12 days of Christmas!

The wonderful memories of caroling! These are just a handful of the selected pictures!

Not forgetting the wonderful day out with them! <3

Here comes the rest of our lives...

it's 4 am, and i should really be asleep, but I just can't sleep, and thoughts are in my mind... I really miss my sis Bianca, I miss how close we were, how we used to share stuff with each other, and being what brothers and sisters should be... I wonder if she ever misses me at all... somewhere somehow along the lines, something went wrong, and I guess things happen for a reason, still I miss her... thanks to people who spread lies and false pretenses and rumors, our brother-sister relationship was affected... yeah... I hate it when I'm really close with a bestfriend or sister, and people think differently... and I just feel sad when I'm so close to someone, then next thing, it's like we're strangers or no longer close, it hurts... I don't blame anyone, I just miss the times and the moments... but as we all know, life goes on... so here comes the rest of our lives...

Dealing with loss..

I don't know why, suddenly I have this urge to write about dealing with pain, loss of a loved one, and some things... if for any reason you find this too sad to read, move on... I'm serious...

I used to hear this song when I was younger, but I never knew what it meant... It's a very personal and emotional song by Sting about his father's death, and even listening to it, I could feel the sorrow and I cried... it's that moving... I mean, who wouldn't be sad if their parents passed away? (touchwood) I'm actually scared of when the day comes when I'm gonna be alone and independent, hope it'll be a long time away when I have more experience and more mature... anyway, here goes the song...

Under the dog star sail
Over the reefs of moonshine
Under the skies of fall
North, north west, the stones of Faroe

Under the Arctic fire
Over the seas of silence
Hauling on frozen ropes
For all my days remaining
But would north be true?

All colors bleed to red
Asleep on the ocean's bed
Drifting in empty seas
For all my days remaining

But would north be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Dark angels follow me
Over a godless sea
Mountains of endless falling,
For all my days remaining,

What would be true?

Sometimes I see your face,
The stars seem to lose their place
Why must I think of you?
Why must I?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?
Why would you want me to?
And what would it mean to say,
That, "I loved you in my fashion"?

What would be true?
Why should I?
Why should I cry for you?


So yeah... sometimes in certain societies, it's very hard to effectively communicate love between parents and children, and what he's saying in this is that, sometimes the father would say "I loved you in my fashion" as if to say I loved you this way, and it's very touching...

So tell your mum n dad you love them, and treasure your loved ones, family, and never let go of them... I know I haven't been the perfect son, the perfect person, I make mistakes as well, and I know how hard it is to live this life...

How do you deal with the loss of a loved one? Do you weep and moan everyday, or move on and live your life the best way possible and make them proud? I'm sure you know the answer... Of course, human nature can sometimes dictate otherwise and have the tendency to still grief, and I think I myself don't know in the future...

I guess there's a reason why I wrote this, and pray to God that everything will be alright...

One story remains...

After all these years, sometimes I wonder, will anyone ever like me for who I am? every time I like someone or have a crush on someone, it always never works out, and I must say every night I still wonder, when will the time be right? It's kinda depressing to go to bed every night thinking 'no one will ever like a fat loser like me, always this and that' and so on in my head... I know I'm a good friend, but will anyone ever see me as more than that? I wish I can be with my crush now, I can't say who (obviously!) and I wish she knows...

Of Castles and Relationships

I know, the title's pretty lame, and it's a giveaway that I love watching the show 'Castle' and watching how the writer Rick and detective Kate's relationship go on and off through their work... I just love watching the show, how the drama unfolds, how their relationship progress each time, and watching the newest episode was pretty intriguing, yet gave me lots of food for thought... In the latest one, they were talking about moving on and dealing with past issues, and we need to make peace with it and not let it hinder you... I think that's pretty relevant in my life right now...

It's not easy having to face our very own insecurities, faults, and trying to make peace with our past, especially when it's very painful and emotional... I admit, I do have few issues that I need to deal with, have closure, make peace with it and move on... and it's hard, especially when it comes to your closest friends and loved ones... I guess for my part, I really need some closure, at least settle things with some people... There are still few unresolved issues that need to be made peace with, and of course I can't say it here, it's private, but what I can say is that I just can't believe I'm having to deal with this, but then again life's no smooth ride...

To have someone very close to me, for a long time, trying to avoid me instead, and yet showed up in front of my face trying to hide it, is very painful... I know about this, I don't know whether that person know I know... confused? You should be! haha! When I needed that person, when I was in hospital, and miles away from home, that person didn't even care, like I was an annoyance rather than a close friend, which hurts... Look, I chose to forgive and move on, but the fact is that still hurts...

I don't know, ever since these few issues, as I've said in my last post, nowadays I find it hard to communicate with people, trust anyone again, live a normal life, it's like I'm always living in fear, fear of being left behind or betrayed again, fear of being judged every single detail, and I just can't have proper relationships now... sigh... I'm retreating ever deeper and deeper into a shell... One day I'll have to deal with all of this and move on, and I hope I can find someone who trusts me, and I can trust, to help me... I'm ready...

Pearly whites

After a challenging few days, heck month, when all that seemed to go wrong around me did, but what went right as well... Last Wednesday I literally walked out of class and nearly had a mental breakdown, I was just so tired of studying, studying, studying non-stop for a year, and I'm having mental burnouts, and I just cant understand (well, actually I do, but I'm just tired!) and I need a break! this was supposed to be my break, but no, exams are during carolling, and ends just days before Xmas... and how now am I supposed to go balik kampung or have my plans? January I start again, I don't really have a break, do I?

With that in mind, I set off on a long walk alone, trying to calm myself down, figure out what am I gonna do, and how I'm gonna cope, and well, just go with it... I just need some time alone, away from everyone and everything, away from technology and studies... looks like I can't have that, exams coming... what can go wrong, has gone wrong... studies going down, and yet people keep saying "im smart, i'll score" but the truth is, I'm not, I can't, and I need to work harder...

But, what can gone right has gone right too... for starters, I met my old bestie Jiwan, and I'm so happy to see her again, because she's the best friend anyone can have, and anything I can just talk to her and all... carolling practice also has started, and that has lifted my spirits to persevere through this tough times... and Lifeteen Anniversary is coming, I can't wait! A huge part of my life was in that very ministry where I grew up and learnt alot... I'll forever remember and be thankful for them!

Lately, ever since this year, where people that I'm close with have, at different times, had misunderstandings with me, and now I find it very hard to trust anyone nowadays, and I find it very hard to be close with anyone, I'm scared they'll hurt me or turn their back on me the moment I become close and then things fall apart... I want to trust, I want to have proper friendships again, and after that, I just want someone to be there for me whenever I need 'em... Is it so hard to ask?

Inclined to write...

It's been a long time, and it's Sunday morning now, and Monday I have a test, I should be really studying, but I'm here, writing off another chapter of a very complicated and chaotic life, like the very twists and turns of a rollercoaster, only more violent and surprising... a cinematic view of what's it like to be in my life or in any of the millions of this world...

Well what changed from last time? It seemed like nothing could go wrong, I had trusted people by my side, and in a swoop, everything changed... yes, it's my fault, I apologised, and silence fills the air where words previously filled it... It's amazing and at the same time very heartbreaking to suddenly experience this... I really miss my bestfriend, she means the world to me... But if God has a plan for me, and it involves no longer being friends with her, I'll just have to trust Him and move on... Have faith and persevere =) I'll certainly cherish all the happy moments and times I spent with her... I pray I will be friends with her again, but time will tell...

It's been a challenging time, and I even broke down and cry the day that happened... and now I'm still on the brink but holding on... Trying to be more optimistic and enjoy life... In that sense I guess I've matured alot, no longer dwelling on the past... sure, it hurts, but what's the use to keep on replaying it? I prefer to remember happy memories and cry, for those are tears of happiness and blessings... Such as my time in Lifeteen 2006-2008, it always will be forever a special time and will never forget =')

Nothing lasts forever in the cold November rain, sang Axl Rose of Guns 'N Roses, and I guess that's true... now I'm not justifying his rock n roll excesses of the band, but just that line muscially... November started off with that heartache... here's to a better ending... lately I had kinda of a little crush, but I guess that wont last long, as usual guess she likes someone else, so no chance for me here... another journey along the single life... sigh...

At the end of the day, life goes on... It's all up to you to choose whether to live it with the pain or the opportunism that awaits tomorrow... here comes the rest of your lives, so live it well...

All about...

... besties! haha! Well, yeah, I'm happy! But it's not what you think why... No, I haven't got a girlfriend, far from it! It's just that I'm happy I'm close with those whom matter, my closest friends, cousins and siblings... Over time I've realised and learnt who were my true friends, and nothing is ever rosy or smooth sailing... There will be times when we argue, have differences, but at the end of the day, we're still best friends, and I'm glad and happy I've gotten closer to those whom I truly appreciate and care for!

Yeah, lately I've discovered and learnt alot, through the dark times, the pain, and from the bottom of the pit, I've managed to climb back up, and hopefully this time I won't fall back down so easily... I've just gotta stay focused, positive, just think nothing's gonna go wrong, and that they're there for me, and I'm there for them! Hopefully this time I'm gonna continue learning and appreciating whom I have now... I don't care I don't have a girlfriend, I'm just happy to have them! =D

Lately I've been hainging out with my sis and bestfriends, and it's nice to actually be with people that I can trust, talk to no worries, and actually not like that person! haha! I'm actually closer to girls than guys, 'cause it seems I can trust them more and connect with them =) but of course there are my guy bestfriends from school and life ;) so I guess equal balance also... haha! Hanging out and studying, playing games, and just having fun and studying at the same time, it's nice man! After all the drama and problems I had this year, just to have this is already great! I thank God I have such wonderful besties! ^^

Thank God that I have such wonderful people around me, and I really appreciate them so much! Here's to everyone! ^^

Waiting for the end...

This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again

All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got

This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something empty's within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear...

Cool song from Linkin Park, one I'm thinking of doing live... but I need a band or at least a backing track and a partner to sing the other part, as with Chester and Mike... hmmm... excited thinking about it! XD!

Far From Heaven

No one truly has the answers
Every day I struggle through it once more
Keep things bottled up, never speaking my mind
Misinterpreted, I'm doing just fine 

Every day I put a brave face on, serves me well
Feeling helpless, facing it alone, hard to tell
That I can change who I am, how I feel, there's no end

I have done what you asked of me

Leaves me nothing to live for

Coming undone, way too high a price I should pay
You keep your pride while I die inside every day
No I can't lie anymore, won't pretend I've done all I can

You can't imagine the hell I'm going through
Not asking you to save me
I'm too far from heaven

Nothing you can do to change me
But accept me as I am...

A beautiful song by Dream Theater, and I think it perfectly encapsulates

 how I feel about someone, and I wish that person knew, but of course it 

would be a personal disaster if I were to ever say it! So what better way 

to express it then with a song... Best way... 

Hennessy Artistry

GRAB YOURSELF A GLASS OF HENNESSY V.S.O.P KK, H-ARTISTRY IS COMING TO TOWN!

Malaysia’s most talked about party is set to make only its second appearance in the East Coast. Promising a colourful blend of music, delectable Hennessy V.S.O.P long drinks and a party atmosphere that is second to none, H-Artistry ‘The Global Art of Mixing’ will be storming through WhiteRoom, KK Times Square on September 24.

This time around, with an expected crowd of 800 sophisticated clubbers, the upcoming H-Artistry party promises to enthral party-goers to an explosive partying experience where sights, sounds, and tastes will collide.

With collaborative performances, visual stimulations and new digital interactions, H-Artistry promises to surprise folks with a contemporary clubbing platform that is bold, daring and fresh, culminating in the ultimate blend of urban sounds and cultures that come together through the ‘Art of Mixing’ electrifying performances that will leave guests awestruck and craving for more.

To top it off, party goers can look forward to savouring some fresh delectable flavours of four Hennessy V.S.O.P signature long drinks – Hennessy Apple, Hennessy Ginger, Hennessy Berry and Hennessy Citrus.

Its famed interactive platform, the Hennessy Mixing Zone will also mark its return and will feature three fun, engaging and experiential zones:

1. Hennessy Mixing Bar – a bar where fans will be taught how to mix any of the four signature Hennessy V.S.O.P long drinks (Hennessy Citrus, Hennessy Berry, Hennessy Ginger, and Hennessy Apple)

2. Hennessy Music Mix Synth — where revellers will be given the chance to create their own tunes by selectively choosing to place 15 circular cubes on a react table (each cube represents a different music element, i.e: guitar, drums, etc) to allow them to experience the true meaning of “The Global Art of Mixing” through the blending of their very own tunes.

3. Hennessy iMix Challenge – an area where party-goers can try their hands at Hennessy’s newly developed iPad game which requires guests to slice up ingredients which are found in Hennessy V.S.O.P’s signature long drinks. The top 5 high scores screened on an LCD leaderboard will each take home a bottle of limited edition Hennessy V.S.O.P Helios.   

Party-goers who register themselves for the upcoming H-Artistry party at WhiteRoom on www.h-artistry.com.my/facebook will also receive a Hennessy ID Tag, a radio-frequency identification (RFID) wristband which allows them to log on to their respective Facebook accounts and post their activities at the Hennessy Mixing Zone as status updates or ‘check-in’ into the party whenever they scan their Hennessy ID Tags onto a reader located at each zone. For example, guests will be able to instantaneously tag photos of them on their Facebook profile simply by scanning their tags on a reader whenever they had their pictures taken at the Hennessy Interactive Photowall.

Revellers can also keep a look out for the Hennessy Mobile Photo Tagging team who will be making their way around the venue to snap pictures of party-goers. Photos that are taken can then be edited to resemble a magazine cover whereby guests will also be able to instantaneously tag their pictures on their respective Facebook profiles.

On the music front, the H-Artistry party in KK promises to provide East Malaysians with a never before seen revolutionary clubbing experience through its colourful mish-mash of music artistry and the blending of different musical genres from both KL and Bangkok.

Headlining the night is DJ Roxy June from Bangkok, a self taught DJ with an enormous talent. Roxy’s rise to fame started out on the club circuit in Thailand and for seven years, pushed her unique sounds through the Thai underground scene. Over the years, she has risen up the ranks to become one of Thailand’s best female DJ icons, having also toured Japan, Singapore and Hong Kong with her music. Armed with her sexy looks and an incredible Progressive Electro-House set, DJ Roxy promises to blow the roof off WhiteRoom come September 24.

Staying true to H-Artistry’s innovative approach of blending different musical genres together, the upcoming party will also see Malaysia’s very own acclaimed singer-composer Reshmonu take on the famed H-Artistry stage. Multi-talented and award-winning Reshmonu forged a career in the Malaysian English music scene virtually single-handedly, going from humble beginnings as a sound engineer to becoming one of the most recognizable faces in the Malaysian English music industry over the past five years. Known for his talents in singing, writing, producing, arranging and engineering his own music, he has since established himself as the premier English Language market entertainer in Malaysia. Among some of his standout credentials include performances for Alicia Keys, Prodigy, Pussycat Dolls and Ryan Star of RockstarSupernova. Together with his R&B prowess, Reshmonu will be looking to heat up the H-Artistry stage in WhiteRoom.

Joining him on the H-Artistry stage is the Astro Spinmaster 2010 Champion, DJ Reeve whose passion in the world of turntabalism started at the tender age of just 19. In just over four years, Reeve has brought his performances on to new heights by combining his unique sounds of Hip-Hop, R&B, and Club Classix. He has also shared the decks with superstar DJs such as DJ Stanley (Aus), DJ Tydi (Aus), DJ Ono (of the Bangkok Invaders) and Thomas Schumacher (Germany) and currently spins with his mentor, DJ Goldfish at Zouk’s 4Play 2.0. Making his debut on the H-Artistry stage, DJ Reeve is looking to conquer the dancefloor at H-Artistry through some of the most infectious and addictive tunes the country has ever heard.

Bringing to life its trademark repertoire, ‘The Global Art of Mixing’, revellers can also expect to be blown away by H-Artistry’s trademark special collaboration performances by all three acts. Truly one-of-a-kind, party-goers can look forward to experiencing the blending of music at its best.

With more than just music reverberating through the clubs’ walls, H-Artistry ‘The Global Art of Mixing’ is where music and drinks find the perfect match. The blending of different musical genres provides the core essence, while the versatility of Hennessy V.S.O.P mixed in the form of its signature long drinks provides the inimitable spirit to complete the distinct ultimate clubbing experience.

A global musical phenomenon, H-Artistry ‘The Global Art of Mixing’ parties also takes place in some of the largest cities around the world which includes New York, Shanghai, Taipei, and Los Angeles. Among some of the big names who have performed at these international parties includes Ciara, The Roots, Mike Posner, Alexandra Burke, Harlem Yu, Jay Chou, Jacky Cheung, and Sammi Cheng. The parties in Malaysia have also been nothing short of impressive. Locally, the event has in the past, featured a host of star-studded performers such as Flo-Rida, Kardinal Offishall, Shayne Ward, Boys Like Girls, The Ying Yang Twins, Da Mouth, and many others.

Passes to the H-Artistry ‘The Global Art of Mixing’ parties are by-invitation only. To stand a chance to be invited to the upcoming party in WhiteRoom, visit H-Artistry’s official Facebook fan page at www.h-artistry.com.my/facebook to register. Registrations close 1 week before the actual date of the event.

Alternatively to receive updates about the upcoming parties follow H-Artistry on Twitter: www.h-artistry.com.my/twitter. The H-Artistry party in WhiteRoom, Kota Kinabalu is strictly open to non-Muslim guests aged 21 years and above only.  ID verifications will be carried out at the door.

The grace within ourselves

Is life simply an illusion?
A never ending dream
Clutching at straws and pieces
The vision of the great dream

Time waits for no man
Don't you ever think how we'd ever live
Past our experiences and fears
Progressing our lives along

If we ever flash back to the days
Where we lived and loved like no one else did
Every passing thought was just an idea
Without the burdens and pressures of the world

What if we'd lived differently
Wasted our time so we think
Well all those are just a waste of regrets
No use crying over spilt milk

When we hear the music playing
What do we ever think?
Will we be happy or sad
When all of this is over?

(I wrote this after inspired by Dream Theater, and some conflicting emotions and experiences I've had this past month especially, and past year...)

Intrigue and mystery

Intrigue and mystery have always seem to captivate me, and the mystery behind certain people even more so... they say eyes are windows to the soul, and I instantly remembered Steve Vai's tune, and it says: "In your eyes I found comfort and peace. The treasure of and endless ocean of love lies in your soul, behind the windows that are your eyes," and it was very eye-catching (excuse the pun), and it seem to capture this wonderful day I had with my loves, yet with a feeling of intrigue and an air of uneasiness that surrounds us all...

Personally, I would say this has been the best week ever! From last Friday (26 August) till today (2 September), I had so much fun, excitement, pleasure, and more importantly, I spent time with my best friends and people that I really love, and love to do things together! And I'm so happy that I'm close again with my friend, my sis, my badminton partner Cass, and I consider her one of my besties! After everything that I went through this past few years, it's so happy and thank God that we're close again, and I pray that we can stay close and if anything happens, at least be honest to each other.. Forgive and forget the past, and look forward to the future!

I think this past week I had been having fun non-stop everyday and I'm really happy! I just want this holidays to be longer, and I don't want to return to college! But now, thanks to ma buddy, I can look forward to doing well in class... It's great and fun to have a bestie as a training partner, and fitness buddy, so at least we can motivate each other and remind each other of our diets and excercises... And this has been going on for the past 3 weeks, and hopefully by the end of the year I'll be fitter! yeah!

One thing I just realised as I wrote this, a month plus ago I wrote that how much I missed my sis Cass, and now we're close again! Thank God for answering my prayers! I'm so so so happy and blessed! =D

Honestly...

I feel like so down now, I feel like I'll never have you in a million years, we'll never be together, no one will ever be with me, no one will ever like me, and if I say I like someone, that person will run a million miles away... Sounds familliar?

People can talk with you, but not me... You will answer people's calls, but not mine... I hate the fact that my heart's always unsure, always afraid of getting hurt again, and all... It's hard, I've never had a couple before, so I don't know what to do... Call it stage fright, call it nerves, call it butterflies in the stomach, but there I go...

So what next?

Just going along...

... with the story that comes with a dream and a realisation...

Lately things are fine, thank God... yeah, life can be a challenge, but stay positive, believe, and keep the faith... In life nothing is certain, nothing is ever black nor white, there's always this grey area, and we always exploit this grey area until it becomes either one... It depends on which side are we on... Question is, whose side are we on?

I don't think anyone ever reads my blogs, which I'm fine with, but then again people don't ever see the other side of me, reflective, emotional, thoughtful, insightful... They think I'm this hyperactive friendly guy whose childish, that always talks alot, and is kinda of a teacher's pet, but they don't see how I am outside or the other part of me... Well they don't know what they're missing =P haha!

Tell me who doesn't miss people that they love, and I'll tell then to fork off... Of course I miss my siblings, my friends... Of course I miss the moments I spent with them, and if course I wanna spend time together with them again, and just be with them... But people seem to make such a big deal out of it, as if I'm some kind of guy who has it better... Lemme tell you something, I miss them, I love them and I wish they're here now... If you think this is childish, then you're wrong, simple as that... This is family...

Nowadays I'm aware of being grown up, less childish, but sometimes we fall, we're human, who doesn't make mistakes? So give me a break, and let me grow in my own space... What I need nw is support, love and care, and I'm glad my siblings are there for me when I need them... I know I've disappointed and let them down, but I still love them and try my best to be a better person...

I kinda miss my sis Cass, I mean I miss the times we spent, and we used to be close last time, but as time passes, I don't know, for me I still consider us close, but I wonder how she thinks... I think she's been a good sis, she's told me things straightforward, no bulls... and I guess I needed that, I need that honest straight opinion... It sometimes hurts, but better honest then lies I say... Guess I need that talk now...

In this world that will tear you up and eat you, it's how u react after having that punch in the face that determines how you will live, and I can say after being punched, tossed, turned, stabbed and hurt so many times, despite all the tears, all the pain, all the hurt, I'm stronger than ever... Yes, there will be tears and spills, but all this will make me a stronger person...

Same Old Story

The blues has come again... this time I hope it won't be anything serious...

Just when I'm so happy and all my burdens lifted, then poof! comes another challenge... No matter, will pray and hope that it will soon be all over... Just that sometimes patience is a virtue... and I'm sure I'm more experienced now not to make the same mistake twice now...

When I was in problem, I had some amazing and blessed people around me, and I'm kinda sad now that I'm not able to contact most of them, either busy due to studies, or can't communicate, or somehow things got complicated... The last part is always the trickiest...

I miss how things were before with some besties, like we're so close and like family, but now we seem like strangers... Honestly, I miss my sis Bianca, and yeah I miss the old days... Not to say now is not good, it's alright, but I miss the before times... You get what I mean... I miss Cassandra too, haven't been able to contact her lately, so hope to see them soon... I miss my bestie Joey, Jerome, Charlotte, Charlene, heck I miss them all! ='( hope they read this, and miss ya loads! They all are wonderful people that I miss so much! =')

Finally Happy!

... but how long will this last? Hopefully longer than ever! XD!

Finally, after all the previous rants and rumbles, I'm glad to say I'm happy! (Almost) All my problems are solved, and I'm glad that I took the right choice and come straight forward and apologise... Yeah, it's my fault, now it's in the past, so let's move on and move forward...

I'm so happy that I'm good again with people that are very close to me, and I'm finally glad that this heavy burden has been lifted, thank God! It was an amazing and wonderful time at RAY camp last weekend, I'm glad that I decided to go even though I knew I would only be there for a day and a half, as I went on the 2nd day due to exams... I'm happy to know I played a part, no matter how small, in helping the camp, especially the prayover...

To finally got forgiveness from your besties is the best thing that can happen, and it did happen to me, and that in itself is a great blessing and relief! =D Now things are alright again, and I guess this is a good closure, the book's finally done, it's time to close that book and open an exciting new one, filled with the unknown ahead.. It's like, yeah, now I can finally move on!

RAY Camp was a big highlight, my only regret was it didn't go on for any longer, and I didn't get to spend much time there due to my exam papers, but it was worth it... Felt a little like a rush though, but no complaints here sir! The day and a half was the best day and a half that can happen! The sessions were good, the prayover amazing, the food delicious as usual ;) and finally the shirt fits! hahaha! XD! Great!

This camp, helped me to help people, healed my own heart, set things straight, cleared up all misunderstandings, focus on God, prayed well, so much positive change, more than ever before... I just felt it, praise God! ^^ sometimes miracles happen when we least expect it... Before camp, I was so emotional, and I was scared with the limited time available, I couldn't do much and it would just pass by, but boy it didn't! It felt like days, and it felt so long, which given my limited time, I felt thankful for that!

Looking forward to the rest of the year!

Shot Thru The Heart

The ultimate pain, the biggest setback, the hardest part, being stabbed in the front, in the back, in the backside! hahaha! XD! Seriously, it's really heartbreaking to find out these things... Why oh why do I always get hurt by the ones I love the most? It's really mind-boggling...

Come on, I've made mistakes, I'm sorry, and sometimes I don't realise it, so please at least talk to me, let me know, instead of ignoring me, trying to avoid me, and talking behind my back, and the worst one as well... Look, I'm still growing, I'm maturing day to day, and I feel I am, but sometimes there are times when I have problems, I feel down, and I act in a certain way that shows me to be otherwise... But I'm not childish all the time... So please try and understand me...

I don't understand, since we're so close, I feel we can talk it out about anything, but why don't you? To me, when we're close, I can talk anything to you, but you can't do that to me? You don't trust me? =(

This year really hasn't gone well for me, except for a few bright moments, I spent most of the year so far chasing lost dreams, trying to make up for last year, reliving all the moments and memories of last year with besties, saying goodbye to my closest friends and family, and trying to get my life back in order... and I'm physically, mentally, emotionally tired, and it's only May! Now I can't wait for Christmas and this year to end... I've had enough...

Yesterday (21st May Saturday) night, I had a prayover, and it was a first for me in a long time... It was so powerful, so great, I cried so hard, and everything seemed to fall into place... I can't say much here, but what I can tell is that it was overwhelming, so much so that when I got home, I cried again... Thank God for everything.. I really needed that...

The thing is, lately with all these problems and emotions, I really am emotional, it's like I keep on wanting to cry but I can't, so to finally let it all out was very reliving... Thing is, now I feel like crying again after being told more things that really hurt me... Great... Look, to you I may seem weak, crybaby, immature, but let me tell you this... I'm in heaps of problems, and I am being as strong, tough and mentally fighting it out as much as possible... And plus, if you think I'm immature, then you yourself are, believe me or not? At least I'm man enough to admit all this, and say this...

If you have been reading my blog (I doubt ANYONE does, but who cares, it's my blog) then you will have seen that in recent months, heck the whole year, I've been feeling down, depressed, and all... I'm trying, and trying my best to rise up again and be happy, but when the problem's someone very close to you, then it hurts and it takes time to recover... Hopefully I'm given that time and space to recover, with the support of loved ones...

This year has been one heck of a year so far... I've been chasing all the past until I didn't realise it's already May, and halfway through 2011... and I keep thinking it's 2010! haha! Oh well... What's done is done... Time to look towards the future...

I just don't know what to do or say...

Sometimes I really feel tired, had enough... I really want to break down and cry again... Why do I always get hurt, especially by the ones closest to me? I love them so much yet one by one something's happening, I start to care for them more, then they slowly drift away, you know how much does this hurt me? Even a simple thing, I want to shake hands but you don't want, to me that hurts... It's like you don't want to be a part of me anymore...

Everyday I feel like giving up, not to say kill myself or what, no I will never, but sometimes I feel like giving up and moving away and starting a new life... What's the point of staying if no one cares? I feel like one by one, slowly no one really care about me anymore, and I'm really hurt... I care so much, I do everything to make them feel good, like family, and some didn't even acknowledge or respond, and just shrug it off... It hurts... OK?

That's why I always have no mood because it seems something must happen without me even doing anything!

Stress!

I think I hit the nail right on the 'ol head when I think, why am I still here? Shouldn't I be out there experiencing new places, faces and trying out new stuff? After all, there's no point in me staying here when people are leaving, left me all alone =( so mind as well fly the nest!

Lately the stress has gone up a notch, until it's been affecting my daily life, and to the point that some nights I just wake up in the middle of the night and find it hard to breathe and so many thoughts, it's just really unsettling... I hate this... It's just come to a point where if it goes any further, I may just quit... I never give up, I try my best, but I just don't want to keep banging my head against a brick wall anymore... I'd rather settle down rather then risking my health... It's no point pushing, I have a health problem, I'm not like the rest of you... I hate it when people criticise me when they don't even know me, what problems do I have, the health issues I have, that sometimes I can't push too much!

Yes, I'm unsettled, I'm not happy, I doubt I'll ever will... Only briefly when I went for a wonderful retreat, and just as I was settling in and having a great time, off I'm back into this mad chaos of daily routines... Crazy, absolutely crazy!

Honesty in emotion

To be honest, I'm not happy, and it's been like this for so long now... Everytime I try to be happy, something always brings me down, and I hate it... I feel sad, lonely, and uncertain, as well as being up and down really bad, it's really confusing, and at times frustrating...

Lately my heart's been really hurting, physically and emotionally... I tried to hide it but it gets worse, I'm really down inside and lonely... In my house, I have no one to talk to, my parents are in their own world, and it can be really lonely sometimes... Let's be honest, I prefer a straight up personal conversation rather than online, and Facebook is getting boring...

Recently I'm somehow struggling through studies, especially with the timetable being really tiring... 8 am to 5 pm is really a long period of time, even though there are breaks in between, but mentally by th end of the day, I'm shot... and I have no time to revise when I get home, and I'll end up sleeping, or tired, cranky and all... I hate this... Normally I like classes at morning, then I'll go library in the afternoon, then rest at home for the night... But now I can't even get the chance to study... hmmm...

I don't know why, despite having them around me, my family, I still feel lonely, and left out... I really hate this feeling of being left out, now even more so because I couldn't volunteer for camp, and now I really feel left out... I wanted to volunteer, I would have been able to help and lead, having had the experience, but God knows why I didn't get it... They were maybe concerned about me, not wanting to take the risk... I understand that, I don't blame them, but at least give me a chance to try it out... In the end when I asked my fellow mates for their take, with God's help, I could have gone... So I was very sad that I wasn't able to... I wasn't doing it for myself or to be selfish, I really wanted to help guide those people and experience everything, and learn more about God... I guess it's all over in the past now, what's done is done... I'm honestly disappointed that I couldn't help...

Turning 21 was more difficult then I expected, and I need to experience so many changes in one go, it's really hard, and now I'm still learning, still adapting and changing to be a mature person... I'm seriously afraid of losing my loved ones, my family and bestfriends, when they move away, I'm scared of losing contact with them and growing apart... That's what I missed most from the years of old, being close to them, and having them around me... Being a single child is really lonely without them in my life, and now with them gone one by one, I pray that we will still be close and stay the same.. Of course they will change and mature with time, but I pray that we will still be close, that's all I can hope for...

I'm going through a difficult and confusing time in my life now, regarding my future, career, and friends... I always seem to feel lonely deep down inside my heart... I know I'm not, but still that feeling exists, and I hate it... If I could I really want to spend time with anyone that's close to me now and let out all my feelings, but I wouldn't want to trouble them, so here I am now... When I feel really down, I pray to God and try to think positive, but still the feeling is there...

I sometimes wonder if I'm maturing already, or still being the same? I myself feel that I am mauring, thinking better now, and dealing with problems better, but I'm not sure... I'm still very hyperactive, yet that's not what being mature or not is about... It's about how you think, how you deal with situations, react to certain situations, and more... I feel I'm growing as a person, but it's scary at first... Hopefully I'll emerge from this transition period a stronger, more confident, and mature person...

Lost in the moment...

From the moment the year started, I didn't know quite what to expect; well, actually I did, but not to this scale... Forget everything that's happened in the past, this will be a whole new challenge, and many changes along with it... The only question is, will I be broken or emerge stronger than ever from this?

Where do I start? My best friends, my mates, many of them are moving on in their studies away from KK, and I'm gonna miss them alot, and It's gonna be weird not having them around anymore after spending so much time together these past few years, we've become almost like family... So many happy memories, and I really treasure them... But that's in the past, time for the future...

Lately I've been going through a rough time, and thinking alot before I sleep every night isn't going to help my cause... It's been a mixed bag; on one hand I'm actually happy in college now, having fit right in and new friends, and it's alright, now it's the problems outside that are really affecting me, until now I don't really want to do anything but talk here...

To be honest I still miss 2010, everything about it, it was such a momentus year, moving on from it is really hard... sigh... It seems like just yesterday that I ushered in the new year, and now February is almost over... Time passes so fast, time waits for no man... Soon everyone will be moving on... =(

Having a crush, and not being able to be with her, or progress beyond friends is very heart aching, and right now I'm having pain in dealing with that... Of course I put in effort and my heart into trying to be with her, but what's the use if I'm not even considered as someone more than a friend by her, and she even treats other people more than me, so I feel stupid that I liked you in the first place, you know how much that hurts me? It's eating me up inside...

I've been having many dreams lately, some good, some bad, and a few weird ones... It's been a mixed bag of all.. One dream that I had I can't forget, is my mum meeting my crush, and it's funny and sad at the same time, because in that dream I said goodbye, and the irony is there... I won't say much for it'll be obvious...

At this point in time, all I want is for my besties to be around me, to spend time with them, and have a clearer picture of what's going on... I wish I can have that... Amidst all the chaos and movement, I need some stability... and stability and certainty in life is anything but...