MY heart needs a break, seriously, I'm tired of always feeling for someone, or falling for someone, having a crush, and then to end up heartbroken for so many reasons each time, frankly I've had enough, I wish I can just move on, but the thing is with some of them, I see them so often, it's kinda heartbreaking, until lately, when I finally could accept everything that's happened and moved on, and seeing them was just like friends, which was nice, until...
Well, after starting the year saying "I don't want to have ANY crushes, or even a girlfriend this year" and so on, now I have another crush, but this time, she really changed my life, in a subtle way, and she made me feel closer to God and believe more, being a better person, and most importantly, she accepts me for who I am, and every time I meet her, she really makes me happy and just to be with her is the best feeling in the world, and she really is awesome and strong in faith in Christ :) and I'm really blessed to be able to know her, be friends with her and just knowing her, but...
I can't be with her, for some reasons, and right away, all those previous feelings came back, and all the doubts appeared again, and this time I thought I'd met the right one for me, and I really want to be with her, just that it's the wrong time, and it really breaks my heart to not be able to be with her, tell her how I really feel for her, how she changed my life, and the effect she had in my life... If I told her everything, the next thing I know she'd start to avoid me, run away from me, and this friendship will turn to dust...
So I guess it's best for me to keep quiet and just be friends, and stand together in faith in Christ :) and I pray God will find a way for me to move on, with or without her... One thing, I will learn from this no matter what the outcome, and learn from the past, and move on...
Still, I want to be with her :')
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