Frustration boiling over

I hate to feel frustrated every Saturday night, stuck at home at nights, no friends for company, nothing to do but fool around, and everytime I want to see my sis, she go running of everytime, very frustrating to even get a moment to settle and talk to her, I mean, after all, she is my sis, but its very difficult... It's like im pushed way down the order... Now I know how Fernando Alonso feels, to be the 4th, 5th person, not the ones in front, but at the bottom... Every week I wait and wait, and eventually nothing happens...

The problem is if i go and talk to her about it, then problems will come up and she will say some things which might come to regret later; if I don't talk about it and keep quiet and get even more hurt, I'm the one that will feel hurt, confused and frustrated... Either way, I lose... It's very frustrating.. I know she doesn't mean it and she's a nice person, and all, but this is very frustrating, its like she's not my sis at all... I mean, since a few months ago already I wanted to plan to spend some time with my own sis, and it never happened, always there's something that is on... hmmmm...

I hate to feel frustrated and aggreived everytime I come home on a Saturday night, and I really can't stand it anymore.. I want to get out, go about town, hang out abit, go do some stuff, go around town, enjoy a couple of drinks, anything on a Saturday night... My life sucks, its so boring, I'm a total loser, people try to avoid me coz im not even close to be good looking... Once again, here it comes, that sense of rejection and avoidance... I'm daliancing with danger...

This is what happens when I have nothing better to do but sit around and feel all so lonely... Loneliness and boredom, a dangerous mix of cocktail... Whenever I feel down and all, I love to watch some tennis matches, beacuse unlike football, Im watching to learn a thing or two, and distract my mind off the real world... At least I'm watching brilliant passing shots and forehand winners rather that backstabbing and bullshit of the world... That's what it is to me now...

Watching tennis matches really helps calm the mind down, and you can learn so much from watching and listening to the commentators, former players et al. Brilliant. Or even badminton, for those of you more inclined to this, like me, I love to watch both... But NOT football, never watch it when your team is losing and you're on a dogfight of a life, it will only make matters worse... Go out, have a hit on the tennis or badminton court with your pals and kids, nice excercise...

For now, guess I'll head into bed with an uneasy mind and a broken heart... Try that... This world sucks...